AHHH!!end up,my mood ruinned by my ownself.my stupid bloody brain and my eyes..Some more cry in public again!haih,sometimes when tears flow,it will be like untighten water tap.First day,i dint think much,i act like normal,because i decided,new year,i must cry lesser,not to recall things about him so often.And I just stick to kokhoe.ofcause la got talk with Jason.At night,when going through the crowd,i hope he will stand behind me and take good care of me.Haha,but he is leading lo.Walk until very far and i keep get lost only.T.T.they have to keep looking for me.paiseh...after bought baskin robbins,we went through the crowd and find a place to sit down.Preparing to countdown.My mood swing again.maybe because my decided put down everything about him.Haih.Maybe that night was once before one of our plan,spent our day at Genting.Looking around,the couples are kissing each other when the fireworks start.How lovely.And i wish,the one standing beside me can hug me,eventhough he dont kiss me.although it doesnt mean anything or it just a friend's hug.Or maybe i can kiss his forehead and saying that,"Jason,this is my last kiss.I will put down everything from now on.I wont be stubborn anymore and keep wishing for miracle to happen."Haha,i dont have the gut to do that..In hotel,we ate all the ice cream we left cause they melting.and Jason ate too.so near.haha..So nice,nvr had that kind of moment with him yet.Then,im getting tired.so im lying on bed with pillow.and he lying beside me.perpendicularly..I wonder what feeling im having that time,so close.Haha,im thinking im in his arm gua.or on his flabby tummy..around 2,Jason fall aslp.I couldnt slp cause its too cold,and he took away the blanket.Nah,i gave him one la.Haha..At 4 oclock,everyone went to bed.I couldnt slp well.Haha,even some of them keep saw me sitting up..My tummy not feeling well somemore.T.T..I'm happy.I help them cover blanket and towel.i try to help Jason but only get to cover his feet.=.=.he lying on the blanket.i scare if i pull he will be looking at me in a strange way.What are you trying to do?So i keep look around and watching them slping.Jason slp so soundly.haha..First time watching him fall aslp for such long period.look like a big baby..When they all awake,i cooked instant mee cup for them.I'm happy when Jason talk with me softly.I'm moody when Jason like want argue with me that what im saying is wrong..very successfully,my mood get affected lo.Talking with bx about the past,and my tears dripped down.Suddenly i heard his voice,i quickly turn back and wipe off my tears.And he blame me for not listen carefully where he want us to wait for them.Aihs.And,finally..mentally broke down when Jing Yee say:"im jealous that daddy treat mummy so gd."I was like,that just what you can see.You wont want to try the feeling of getting lesser than 10 msgs from your bf."My tears start to flow down like waterfall.Finally.I cant stand it all alone anymore.until Jerome's gf like so shock and comfort me..Yeanteng,you ok ma??dont cry luu...Haha.haih..who will wan to let go someone you really love so much and think of he is ur another half.forever?then they teach me play pool..i start to moody again.i cant play well.again.i show how stupid i am,how useless i am,why Jason will dump me!tears keep running my my eyes..i dont want to make myself feel so shame,so,i hold my tears...=).Thats my days.Eh,how i gona achieve my aim for crying lesser ha?first day of new year already cried like mad people..ahhhh.help me!!!
Rules
Details
