last friday,
something extremely embarassing thing happen to me!!!!
i fell down in lecture hall when i going up the stairs.
OMG!!
the whole class like..Oooooooo....

T.T
haha.feel like digging a hole and hide inside.
Exam going to end soon.
one more paper.next thursday.

And im going to keep my flabby tummy,
just for new year.after new year..
mwhahaha..

And And...
Im very happy with my life,
and what i have now.
=D..
thank you so much.*manja manja..

written @1:11 PM

yesterday,Test 6 started.
but i dont have the mood to study.
Dont know is it because my past year not with me,
or i feel very tired of it.

Work hard but never assure by my parent.
After i got my result.
And when my mum pick me up at lrt station.
She dint say anything to gratz me.
but asking what im going to do with my General Paper?
can i get scholarship with this kind of result?
is it nice to for a D appear in my cert?

and when my sis came home.
she like asking my mum,
"Her result very good meh?2A's very good meh?"
Lols.this is what i get after going through one year of hard work.
i'm jealous with JL.
His parent will say like,
"congratz son.keep it on."
Lols.
my parent?will keep pressuring me.
keep asking about my future.
and im the one that have to assure that they will have good future.

yesterday,after doing pure math exam.
My mood swing.
i dont know how to do.
and just two questions.
i lost half of the total marks.

i was trying control.
i dont know.
i suddenly feel like crying.
after they keep asking,
i cry like mad girl.at canteen sumore.
so embarassing lo!
haih.
pressuring myself too much.
and always think that i can do it.
always think that i have to as best as those smart person.
and i hope my family can assure me with my result.
my hardwork for this 18 years.
i did and tried my best to do well my every goverment examintion.
6A,7A,9A.
and this time,2A.

i did work hard to get it.
i have already said that i wasn't born to be smart.
i work out myself to be smart.
so i have my limit.
i will improve but dont keep on pushing me.
You guys will never know.
One day,i will mentally breakdown.
i cried for studies in school,you never know.
You guys will just thought im having fun,
not concentrate.
i need to relax.
i need.

-be there for me when i need you-

written @9:41 PM

Today is the release of AS result.
I got,
A for Chemistry.
A for Math.
B for Biology.
B for Physics.
D for General Paper.
Just erase and dont look at General Paper.
that paper is not important at all.

Haha.
But,Jason dint get good result.
When i get to open the result page.
and i was beside him.
He feels bad?
feel ashame?
I feel guilty with it.
Althought BX they all keep saying that isn't my fault.
During that time,im the one who got affected most.
so dont have to feel bad about Jason.

I dont know how to comfort him.
So i msg him.
all i can do for him now,
is be his reminder and remind him to study everyday.
hope.by this way,
it helps.
He's smart.He can get good results.
just sometimes he was too confident in himself.

i will work hard from now on.
i will prove that,
if i willing to work hard.
to study,
remove the dislike feelings towards health care that require to keep in touch with patient.
i can be very excellent too.
=).

i will prove it to Jason that.
even i dont like it,i dont have the passion on the course im taking,
i will still complete it with an excellent results.!
same too you Jason!
you can make it,
you will score flying colours in A2.i believe.

Hehe.today is my great day,
eventhough i cant get A for bio.
but at least the subject that im going to retake isn't too hard.
and all it need just time to remember every single word.

Gher.Celebrate!

written @1:37 PM

Yesterday was our outing to Times Square.
They planned to buy new cloth.
all of them bought at least one shirt,
but me....T.T...
nvm.wait mum go out with me then i buy more.
Gher.

Yesterday,
Jason talk more to me than usual.
Joking with him.
Shopping with him.
So glad.There are some improvements in the relationship between me and him.
At least he still will teasing me that,
i will never lose my weight.
will never cut down my weight.
Because i said i wan keep fit since i together with him.
And now,i grow even fatter.
GOSH.
something wrong with my dictionary is it?
keep fit=grow fatter?

Hahaha.
today,was trying to ask Jason about some question.
But,
i dont know why,
whenever he explain question to me,
he seems like very impatient and very geram.
I dont dare to keep saying i dont understand.
Scary.
I wonder why he can so patient when teaching other girls.
I know i got bit noob.stupid.nerd..
(oi,is a bit only..but nowadays stupid-ness keep increasing cause bx keep hit my head lo.lols.)
Lucky there are Darren who very patient and willing to teach me.
if not i will keep seeing bx move two pens again and again.
To illustrate two particles.
SWT.

Again,i wish my friends can together happily,
everything will solve soon.
They support me when im collapsing,
and i hope they will get good pay.

And Again,
i start to delete Jason's msg.
those with words.with promises.
CHEN YEAN TENG,i will never let you go.
Lols.
They got no meaning to me anymore.
-hold my tears-
I will delete all of them one day.
even the last "i love you" he said to me?
i dont know.

Memories in my mind will fade away?
say the truth,
sometimes,i still missing my past.

Haha.
Gher.Kok Hoe!!!!
My ice cream a!!!and my flower!!!!haha.
See.I am.happy.

written @10:03 PM

Rawr!
one week dint blog?
i think so.=D.
busy with my things in school.
lols..really that busy?not really,everyday have at least one hour break.=.=''
then?either pooling or volleyball lo!
haha~~
keep on pushing myself to make myself improve more in sport.
At least,i dont look too stupid infront of Jason.

Jason..
haha,just feels that the gaps between us,
getting bigger and bigger..
Why?i try to overcome it.
but still,when we are alone,with no others beside us,
we have nothing to say.
both of us keep silent.
no one will believe that,we used to in love with each other so much.

Lols.
"Life is simple,just the way you live is complicated"
i have to agree with it.
everything is simple,
just depend how you solve it,think of it.
And i,
always make something simple become so difficult for myself.
I can just let go,
why am i take it so serious?
haha.

Tommy said this to me:
Maybe he is sad,just he dont show it.Guys always like this.They dont show their real feelings.
Maybe he is.
I still believe that he is.
But what i need to do now,is to let go.
Smile.

Know what,
last friday,when waiting for briefing,
James,from P class came and talk to me.
I was sitting alone at canteen that time.
(not alone,but jason was sitting far far away,so consider alone)
I asked:"Why you dont want to sit with your friends over there?"
He whispered to me:"Actually,me and my friends planned to sit with you.But they cheat me."
I asked again:"Why come and sit with me?"
He said:"cause we see your ex bf was sitting with other girl,guess you were sad,so we plan to sit with you,and make your ex bf sad."
Swt.
But actually,you know what's his real purpose?
to asked whether is it Jason already break up with me?
and who ask to break?
Over?
I dont know.Maybe im excited that someone realize that i need someone to accompany.
But,
its hurt when I have to answer."Yes,we broke up.He asked for it."

BingXiong and JingYee,
i hope both of you can overcome barriers you guys facing.
Although it seems like hard to tolerate,
and seems like each of have your own opinion.
But,have you guys really sit down and talk about it?
Face it.
JiaLe and Shirley,
i hope you guys can communicate more.
try to talk with each other more.
try to understand each others' situation.

You guys still have your another half with you,
got problem then solve it together.
Ok?
Im jealous.
Both of you have a very good guy with you.
Maybe there are something that i dont understand,
i dont know because im not in ur situation.
but,
the fate is with you,
in your hand,you control it.
you decide how your fate to be.
isn't it?
Lols...i dont have the right to judge much about how your guys' relationship going on.
i just hope to seeing you guys happy together,
doesn't want to lose anyone on the next outing.
=)

ahhhh...
im crapping over here.
tml have to went to school again.
and i'm happy with my days.
Although someone just kindly say "sayang" me.
haha.
i know i like ppl pampering me.
ngeks.
and keep asking me,"you brush your teeth?"
or kindly asking me:"How are you a?"
haha.
Gher!
=D...........He cheer me up.
I'm dont mind to tell who is he.
Kok Hoe.
is him.Who keep accompany me and saying that he will support me.
i need him.as my really close friend.
nothing much i want it to be.just friend.

written @8:31 PM