i think got two weeks from the day we broke up already ba.How's my life?not really can back to normal yet.Sometime will cry,sometime wandering around,thinking who i can find to accompany me.Pathetic isn't it?I always thought i got many friends,but,whenever i face smtg i couldn't stand it on my own,i found that...im so lonely.Maybe i always used to depend on just one person.When i have another half,i always depend on him,no matter what.Now,i have to live on my own again.Hehe,this had happened for so many times,not the first time.But,why?i still cant manage to face it?since everytime i have to face sadness on my own,why this time,i cant take it at all?Why all this seem so heavy for me to take it?
In Korea,i dint recall him at all,too many things to do.At night,eventhought im exhausted,i dont feel like closing my eyes.Too quiet,i know when i close my eyes,everything will come into my mind again.So i stay awake until 3am in the morning,3 hours to rest before i have my morning call.Last day,i got my place beside the window in the plane.I dint take much rest,but look out the window.It's dark,the sky filled up with million of stars.So nice.Here,all come into my mind again.
Travel around the world.Thats one of our plan in future.Haha.I tell you,i got great imagination.That time,i imagine...
He sitting right beside me,taking nap,soundly.I look out the window,suddenly,he hug me from back and give me a kiss on face.What a lovely and peaceful night.=).
Although he not with me now,i still keep imagine he with me now,doing everything we planned.Aihs,what fault i keep throwing myself up high and crush myself down.Too free isn't it?Feel free if you wanted to scold me.
Chatting with BX really make me feel comfortable.He comfort me,always find him if i got things to tell and share.Although he cant pamper me like how jason pamper me,but his words make me feel much better when im sad,when i think too much.Lols,oi!dont worry,i wont fall in love with you de lar!you han fan lar!haha...
And Kokhoe,although he not close with me,he dont know much about me,and i dont know much about him.He willing to let me annoy him.Kidding with me,make fool of me.At least,in day time,im not alone.
But,aihs..all of them have their own activities.I seem so free,always.Feel so paiseh,feel so useless too.Thinking what i can do for them during Christmas.Can i celebrate Christmas with them?Or they wants to celebrate with their half?If i went out with them,how i go home?They fetch me?Very far and they all will reach home late.I want to join them,but i seem like a burden for them.Hmm.Sobs.I want to have my own activities also,but..everytime,because of me,their activities have to rush and end earlier.They have to tolerate me.I dont want that to happen.See,thats who I am.Thats why i failed to have friends,even boyfriend!
When we going Genting???I want to go o!!!Can can?
I wish again,i can find someone that can lend me his hand,hold me when im lost.I wish,the person..is him.*pray.
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